Nine Pounds

Dear Jason,
From cloud nine to year nine, we’ve been through rain, shine and many changing seasons.
Remember when we felt like we were up in the clouds. Marriage seemed so light, airy and fluffy.
We would never go a day without saying “I love you” and the only thing we would fight over was who loved who more.
A lot has happened, a lot has changed over the past nine years.
And now, marriage isn’t as light, airy and effortless anymore.

What does our nine years of marriage look like to me? I picture a nine pound dumbbell.
Each year, the weight increases by one pound. The responsibilities grow and the demands multiply. With each passing year, the load gets heavier and harder to carry.
Day after day, year after year, a small ache grows into a larger, more serious strain.
We start to forget the last time we said “I love you” to each other. We stop remembering to take care of each other after a long day with the kids.
And lifting each other up seems to take way too much effort.
We’re tired, we’re sore and some days we just want to throw in the towel.

Today, our dumbbell weighs nine pounds. Some days, nine hundred.
Nine years of marriage has taught us that we cannot do it on our own strength. We cannot do it alone.
More than our three precious angels, we need God and we need each other. We need to be a team more than ever to lead in love.
We need to say “I love you” and to put our words into action, but first and foremost, we need to love our God to live out love.

Each year brings on one more pound.
We can choose to see it as a heavy burden and throw in the towel or we can see it as an opportunity to strengthen and add even more muscle to our marriage.
It’s only a matter of time we’re going to lose momentum and feel really weak.
When we feel like we cannot carry on, may we lift it all up to God.
Our marriage, our children, our burdens, our sins, our lives.
He by far has carried the heaviest load for us all.
And it only through the power of His love and grace that we will begin to feel light, airy and free again.

Happy 9th Anniversary, Jason. Your love has carried me through rain and shine.
I know there were seasons when we struggled to carry the load, let alone carry each other.
It was by the grace of God, our source of love and strength, that we were carried through the stormy skies to cloud nine.
I love you, my forever teammate. Our love has grown beyond the fluff. Bring on the pounds.
J